i feel the same way. i have worked ten hours a day this week on academics, and i still turned in an essay that i only read three articles for and didn't answer the question, because i simply don't have the time to give to all of my work. i think that's the problem with school- you have, like, five bosses, and they all think that you should do your work for them. but it's like, do i do the work for all five of you and turn in something mediocre to all of you, or do i make a choice to work on a few things really well and then toss the rest by the wayside, which equals consistently turning in bad essays to the tutor i like the least. maybe you don't have that many classes, but i still feel as though there's this constant feeling of being "torn." i know this is how life is, but i feel as though it's exaggerated in academia.
the thing is, also, that i never stop thinking about academics, which means i sleep poorly and thus am less productive. it's like, well, shit, i *should've* done more work on that essay, maybe i should just wake up and not sleep at all. but then i'm too tired. but i've already wasted two hours in bed considering the option. academics drive me nuts. anyway, it's been a rough week academically, so i'm just like BALLS. i know i'm gonig to get a talking to by my head tutor for my poor work in this one tutorial, and that's something else to worry about, but i can't fix it. there's just too much to do, and no one really understands except the person caught in the crossfire. (plus i have twelve weeks of revision, during which time i plan to make up the work.)
so yes. your time is never your own if you are in academia.sometimes i consider taking a low paying job my first year out, because even though it'll make loan repayment difficult, i'm still just like, if it means i can come home at 5 p.m. and forget about my day, well HEY, that would AMAZING.
when i talk to people and they ask, "what do you want to do when you finish?" i always say, "uh, i don't know... i mean..." at which point they ask, "do you see yourself getting your DPhil?" at which point i often scare them because out of nowhere comes this bellowing voice that practically yells "FUCK NO. NO, NO, NO." i'd give up being called dr. werner to have my evenings to myself for the rest of my life. that's why i don't understanding having kids and working. you'd never have more than fifteen minutes a day to yourself, and i think i'd pretty much go insane. i secretely think that most working mothers probably are.
that is all. i need to get ready to head into town before my shitty tutorial, but it's raining pretty hard. :(
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timeasmymeasure
verbal spewage galore
Date: 2006-11-17 08:28 am (UTC)the thing is, also, that i never stop thinking about academics, which means i sleep poorly and thus am less productive. it's like, well, shit, i *should've* done more work on that essay, maybe i should just wake up and not sleep at all. but then i'm too tired. but i've already wasted two hours in bed considering the option. academics drive me nuts. anyway, it's been a rough week academically, so i'm just like BALLS. i know i'm gonig to get a talking to by my head tutor for my poor work in this one tutorial, and that's something else to worry about, but i can't fix it. there's just too much to do, and no one really understands except the person caught in the crossfire. (plus i have twelve weeks of revision, during which time i plan to make up the work.)
so yes. your time is never your own if you are in academia.sometimes i consider taking a low paying job my first year out, because even though it'll make loan repayment difficult, i'm still just like, if it means i can come home at 5 p.m. and forget about my day, well HEY, that would AMAZING.
when i talk to people and they ask, "what do you want to do when you finish?"
i always say, "uh, i don't know... i mean..."
at which point they ask, "do you see yourself getting your DPhil?"
at which point i often scare them because out of nowhere comes this bellowing voice that practically yells "FUCK NO. NO, NO, NO." i'd give up being called dr. werner to have my evenings to myself for the rest of my life. that's why i don't understanding having kids and working. you'd never have more than fifteen minutes a day to yourself, and i think i'd pretty much go insane. i secretely think that most working mothers probably are.
that is all. i need to get ready to head into town before my shitty tutorial, but it's raining pretty hard. :(